The dress pattern of married women has brought much conflict in many homes. The way most of the married women dress has brought conflict between them, their husband and their children.
Most men have sent their wife home because of the way they dress. It is been said that the way you dress is the same way you will be addressed. There are categories of dress which a married woman is not supposed to put on. These dresses can make such woman to loose her reputation in her family and in the society as well. Some problems in the family today are as a result of the dressing pattern of the mother. But should it really bring about dispute in the family?
One of the things married women should know is that they are married, under a man, with children, the life you live is not just your own but that of your family as well.
Now that you are married and with children, the life you live is not just your own but that of the whole member of your family. You no longer do things that please you alone but your actions will also be channeled for the glorification of the name of your family. The mother is the p.r.o. of the family. The way you dress as a mother can affect the happiness of the members of your family without your knowledge. When you don’t dress decent as a mother, it can affect the relationship of your daughter. A woman, mother and wife with value and morals should understand the appropriate dress code for any events, Work, Home, Visiting etc
We may not truly understand the implication of some of our actions until gets us into trouble. One of your duty as a mother is the protection of the image of your family. Their should be decency in your dressing. When a mother dresses wrongly, it will also pass wrong information in the mind of people. The way you dress explains your personality. Many people have spoiled the reputation of the family with the way they dress. There are good clothes that can make one presentable and acceptable. When you dress like a prostitute as a mother, you will be addressed as one. As a mother you ought to dress decent, neat and sharp.
Christopher West addresses this in his tape series, “Good News about Sex and Marriage.” We dress modestly to protect ourselves from the lustful looks of others. If sin were not an issue in the world, neither would dressing modestly be.
The reality is that men and women are wired differently. Men are stimulated visually much more easily than women. Have you ever noticed that immodest fashions are generally a problem for women? Men walking around in low-cut shirts really doesn’t do much for women. Since marketing uses sex to sell, you can see how our fashion world is driven.
What we are trying to achieve, in dressing modestly, is not to give rise to stirring lust in a man’s heart. We do not want to give our brothers a reason to sin. Please note that many men will necessarily lust after a woman who is dressed immodestly, approach you with no or little respect, immoralities or attempt rape based on the message that your dressing have passed to him. And while most women are ignorant about this, it still puts them in an unsafe corner.
Some men have learned to control this. They have either learned to look away or they have trained themselves to look at a woman with respect.
Unfortunately, all men are not trained in virtue! Our secular culture encourages men to sin with their eyes (and with every other part of their body) and so there’s a huge market for lust-driven fashions.
So, when choosing our clothing, as mature women, I believe we have the responsibility of ensuring that our dress does not tempt men to sin. We do this out of love for our brothers; we do this out of respect for ourselves.
Josh Harris says in his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that he knows many girls who would look good in tighter shirts and shorter skirts, but he appreciates the fact that they don’t choose clothes like that. This is a sign of respect for their men and themselves.
And, as my sister-in-law says, “If you want a man to look up to you, don’t give him a reason to look down!” In dressing modestly we demonstrate self-respect. When we show this kind of respect for ourselves, we can expect it from others – and we will usually get it, too!
So what clothes can you choose to wear, when many of the fashions for women are immodest? This is a real challenge! It is so hard to go into a store now-a-days and find something appropriate to wear. But it is possible – it just takes time and it often takes creativity. Dressing to expose your body doesnt make you any sexy or attractive. It rather passes a message of how available you are to be disrespected.
You want something that enhances your natural beauty. You want something, in the summertime when it is hot, that keeps you cool but is not immodest. You want something that is in style.
So what are some general guidelines for modest dress?
Do not wear clothes that are form-fitting. Tight fashions are really in, but they are also really immodest depending on what you choose!
If your pants don’t come up high enough (hipsters are the in-thing, now) then make sure your shirt goes low enough! (Say goodbye to the belly-button!)
Avoid spaghetti straps and strapless garments. Here’s one creative way of being able to adapt a fashion. Put a light T-shirt on underneath the spaghetti strap top. Since this adds a layer of clothing, be sure to choose something light enough that it doesn’t get too hot. If you have a strapless garment, wear a light top over it to keep your shoulders covered appropriately.
Choose light weight shirts – that are not see-through – if you want to stay cool in the summer. It is very distracting for a man to be able to see through a woman’s clothes.
Wear appropriate undergarments.
Don’t show cleavage! This is very stimulating to men and very distracting in women’s fashions. It is challenging for even the best of men to not have their attention drawn down when a woman is exposing her cleavage line.
Don’t wear short-shorts and short-skirts. Dressing modestly requires us to cover ourselves appropriately. There are many styles of shorts that come down longer – and they look great. Skirts should come down far enough that bending over wouldn’t be an issue. Some would say at least to the knee, others would say two-inches or more past the knee. I am not going to pretend to be an authority on the issue.
One thing I do suggest is that when you get dressed to go out of the house, ask yourself this: If you were to run into your man walking down the street, would you feel comfortable with Him seeing how you are dressed?
Also, keep in mind that your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit and that you want to adorn it appropriately, with beauty and grace. Clothe your heart in purity and it will be much easier to clothe your body in modesty.
I hope, Courtney, that these ideas help you in dressing modestly. I commend you for your sincere interest in wanting to do what is pleasing. Be encouraged!
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